Wounds so deep they never show they never go away..

Sat, 10 Apr 2004 01:51:57 GMT

....i have a new journal. well i had like 3 before this one but heres my recent one.

xNobodysHero

.....in joy...

Sun, 28 Mar 2004 21:07:00 GMT

well ive been thinking for a while. im sick of writing my every thought. my every feeling to the world. when they dont care. or they just dont read it. and the people that do read it only make fun of me about it. so im kinda thinking this may be my last entry. so no more drama. no more laughing. no more bring me down. no more nothing. just keep my every thought and my every feeling to myself. im sick of people laughing and talking shit behind my back. so if they have nothing to go off of then they cant make fun of me or talk shit behind my back.

so fuck it. whatever. im done.

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 23:45:33 GMT

well yesterday was fun. kyle surprised me and came at lunch. umm we walked around. i felt bad he was bored shitless waiting for us. but then we walked around after school. hours later we found ourselves on the train tracks just fucking around. being the idiots that we are. umm i guess my sister mike and kyle supposable saw an "otter." i have no clue what they were on or smoking. haha.
they went home. i started drawing again. for like the first time in about 3 months.

umm i havent done absolutely nothing today. im bored outta my mind. im going to band night i guess. i cant wait to see my lovely cuzio. i miss her very much.

well im gunna go take a nap.............. later

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 18:05:41 GMT

well im in advisory bored shitless. people are so annoying in here. umm im nott quite sure whats the deal about me talking shit about monica. who ever made that up is really pathedic. everyone knows i love monica and brianna with all my fuckin heart. but whatever....

i cant wait til school gets out, kyle is meeting me! yeah im pretty happy about that. im wear make up today well other then eyeliner. funny shit.

umm i have to pass out like a bijillion fliers for my friends band.........

FREE SHOW!!!

at william cann neighboorhood park on the corner of marsh hawk rd. and dowe ave. at Union City on april 10, Saturday at 12 pm.

with........

EAST BAY SLUTS!!

THROAT OYSTER!!

DOWN HILL CHASE

DIRTY MAXIES

LOS DONNYS

THE HYPER KIDS

and um i think theres a couple more bands. cant remember. to lazy to take the flier out of my back pack.

SOOOO GOOO!!!!!!

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 04:52:31 GMT

well today was an normal but weird day. haha except when these two mentally challenged kids were argueing. it started off as....."your a retard" (then the other one) "no your a retard." and just kept going on and on. then this other mentally challenged kid steps and was all "guys shut up! havent you noticed were all retards! just look at us. and look at the class were in!" haha it was so fuckin funny.

then in history me and mike reuacting seens from finding nemo. ES K A P A! (escape) then *makes knock* wee *kisses fingers* oh boy we had a laugh off of that one. oh man. that was so fuckin funny. haha were such losers.

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 04:21:38 GMT

3 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one falls off and bumps his head. mama called the doctor and the doctor said.....

NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!!!

haha david. funny shit

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 04:15:57 GMT

bleh i hate high school drama. oh how i wish i was in elematary school again. when boys had kooties. and girls would scream when they touched you.

why does everyone assume so quickly and jump to conclusion. sheesh...

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 05:34:18 GMT

well i just dyed my hair. all black with blue bangs. i was bored. i was gunna my sides blonde but i dunno. sudden mind change.

i really miss you alot. i hope you come on friday......please dont be sad.

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 00:42:23 GMT

well since my computer fucked up and didnt save my update i guess im gunna have to write it again....its not like i have anything better to do....

well today was the same. drama rumors all the good stuff. bleh nothing exciting ever happens. get up go to school be bored eat lunch with mike be bored some more then go home....I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT ON THE WEEK DAYS! SHEESH. pathetic.

well some very pathetic individuals think there so fuckin cool to come up with the most LAMEST joke ive ever heard. its about me and mike (chase) having sex. haha that was fuckin hilarious when i heard that. come on guys cant you think of something better? PATHETIC! me and mike had a few laughs when people asked. pathetic fuckers.

me and mike manson had some laughs today in class. he was all "ooo if only i could bash their faces in, too bad im 18" or something like that. but you know mike says it better. adds a little more tearing out the intestines and the fusing of the glasses into the face. good shit.

"Call me pathetic, call me what you will. Just please don't leave my side. You're so medicated,
you don't even remember my name....Or I'll bite my fingernails until it hurts no more..To dig you out"

LATER FUCKERS!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 00:14:38 GMT

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

.....a face from the past.....

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 04:15:56 GMT

i take a trip down memorey lane. i sudden pause all thoughts as i come to one of the fondest memorizes i have....
i havent forgot you. or the way you smell or the way you do your hair. so many good times together, so many memorize to share, to hold on to. i miss you so much. why did you have to leave? i hope things are better...in texas. i cant wait to see you.
i remember that day. the last day you would be in town. everyone cried, including me. nobody wanted to see you go...but we all knew it would be for the best.
i know i havent known you forever, just a couple years. you really affected my life. taught me so many things.

so many memorize are rushing threw my head. im practically in tears just thinking about them. haha remember when you rode me on the back of my bike and i was messing around and you almost ran into the car. or the time we bought all those snicker ice cream bars and i only ate one and you ate 3. or when i first met you, you said "ooo the fuck are you." and i pulled out my cell phone, and you were all "who cell phone! lemme see!" and grabbed it from me. or the time we worked up at my step dads condo and on the way home we fell asleep. or the time when anna broke up with you and we talked on the phone for hours. we both cried.

so many more good memorizes. good and bad. i miss you so much. ive been thinking about you alot. talking about all times with you to people.
man i miss you so much. the day you left keeps running threw my head. you talked to me for a while...then later on you hugged me and i started to cry....

i really hope you come visit soon. ive been needing someone to talk to. i need my big bother. i need advice. i need alot of things. but i need to see you.

i really hope your doing better. by the way you talk it sounds like your doing way better. with a beautiful girlfriend. who will be there for you. who will give you the comfort youve been wanting.

i wrote this because i wanted you to know i didnt forget about you. and i hope you didnt forget about me......i miss you so much.

.....I love you mark......be good....

".....this worlds an ugly place......but your so beautiful to me"

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 00:21:19 GMT

wow today was a long hard working day. im so pooped. i felt like i walked a bijillion million gazillion miles. haha walking from irvington to lake elizibath is hard work. but of course my bestestestest tall friend (kevin) made it worth while. when we got there me. mr kevin talley. and miss michael chase valenteered for trash pick up. :very hard work: cause you gotta squeez the garbage picker upper and junk. then my dad picked us up and took us to wendeys while all the other losers had to work. haha on the way back kevin was all, "let me roll down my window just in case and so if i see her i can yell ugly out the window." yeah he was talking about raven. but we didnt see her so he was disappointed. ANYWAYS! we got back ate sat around did nothing. went to the rail road tracks sat under it and kevin had this great idea we should build a damm because there was like a little stream under the tracks. so we sat around throwing rocks attempting to build our damm. umm didnt work out to well. haha i just noticed the whole day we were talking about sex and pornography. haha were such losers. umm i accidently hit kevin in the face with this tree thing so he picked me up turned me upside down and some other shit dropped me on the ground and sat on my back. it was funny though. then we walked back.

now im tired as fuck. umm yeah just sitting here texting the lovely kyle. hopefully he comes to irvington on friday since he has one of those shorten days. lucky bastard. ummm yeah the end....

haha i found these hella gay quizes.... funny shit

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 05:30:42 GMT

Awesome! You're a mohawk!

What Kind Of Spikey Hair Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Major Punk - You know the sence in and out, no
wussy pop punk for you

How Punk Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

the perfect ending....

Mon, 22 Mar 2004 05:08:25 GMT

i finally got to see kyle. haha after all the disappointments and the let downs they all paid off. just me and him went to the movies. and saw dawn of the dead. it was alright. it was like 28 days later but better, the same situation and shit...haha i jumped in parts of the movie. but the night was good. i feel alot better. we talked threw out the movie laughing and making fun of people when they died, or when they did something stupid. haha acting like we were gunna eat each other. it was funny. he held me so close. haha i could barely concentrate on the movie. i was like is this really happening. "My head is made up of memories, most of them useless delusions. This room is bored of rehearsal, and sick of the boundaries...I miss you so much" but the night had to end....and for once im not sad. i was a little at first but now im fine. we walked to the doors and saw my mom standing there. so i hugged him. squeezed him so tight. stood there for a while in each others arms. kissed. i turned and started to walk away and he grabbed my hand swung me around haha and was all "be good" and ended it with a kiss. haha im always a good girl i swear! *wink wink* the end of a perfect night..... i cant wait to see you again...hopefully before next friday.....

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 23:42:12 GMT

my room is a hell hole. and i found my tweezers. yay?

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 20:37:27 GMT

well looks like individuals, are making fun of my "emoiness" you know what i dont care. i DO get emotional. i DO get depressed. im not gunna lie. if your gunna make fun of me behind my back then so be it i dont care. whatever, have fun doing it....

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 19:44:35 GMT

Hunger

Comfort

Hygiene

Energy

Fun

Social

Bladder

Room

Style

Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!

i have no life i swear haha

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 19:37:44 GMT

as much as it hurt to see the truth im gunna try to let it go....

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 09:22:26 GMT

and yet you continue to amuse me....haha

were sucha losers......

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 08:08:21 GMT

xTigre De Damex: http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=minor_at_heart
xTigre De Damex: do you think shes hot
RICKYxRETARDO: i dunno
RICKYxRETARDO: all i can see is her face
xTigre De Damex: omg!
xTigre De Damex: lol thats fucked up
RICKYxRETARDO: oh em gee what
RICKYxRETARDO: plus she gots that emo haircut
RICKYxRETARDO: i just dont dig that
xTigre De Damex: lol
xTigre De Damex: shut up
RICKYxRETARDO: and shes pale and her hair is oh so dark
RICKYxRETARDO: haha j/k
RICKYxRETARDO: haha her face has no color
RICKYxRETARDO: hahahah j/k
RICKYxRETARDO: ahh i make myself laugh
xTigre De Damex: haha
xTigre De Damex: loser
RICKYxRETARDO: ironic isnt it?
RICKYxRETARDO: oh wait
RICKYxRETARDO: i scrolled down the page
xTigre De Damex: k
RICKYxRETARDO: shes hot just because her musical taste
RICKYxRETARDO: gang green
RICKYxRETARDO: youth of today
RICKYxRETARDO: nice
RICKYxRETARDO: negative approach
RICKYxRETARDO: nice
xTigre De Damex: lol
RICKYxRETARDO: no she isnt hot though
xTigre De Damex: yes she is
RICKYxRETARDO: she looks like a happy troll or something
RICKYxRETARDO: haha
RICKYxRETARDO: avril lavinge kinda
xTigre De Damex: haha how mean
RICKYxRETARDO: she has that elf look
xTigre De Damex: look info
RICKYxRETARDO: her info sounds like me
RICKYxRETARDO: except i dont live with a jill
xTigre De Damex: you dont like her cause shes not a short filipino
xTigre De Damex: lol
RICKYxRETARDO: so
RICKYxRETARDO: haha
xTigre De Damex: lol

lol were such losers.....blah

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 06:33:42 GMT

*just a warning...i know im going on and on about the same thing and if you dont like it then dont read it! simple as that...*

today sucked. it was boring. i cried. i broke down. i got frustrated. i got angry. not much to say about it. then he called......my face lite up. i havent laughed all day. he always finds a way to cheer me up....

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 02:02:26 GMT

well another disappointment not to mention a big let down came my way. i dont get to see him today. i probably wont get to see him tomorrow either. so i have to wait another long 5 or 6 days until i get to see him. i hate this so much. i just want to see him. is that really that much to ask? even if it is for 5 minutes. i dont care as long as i get to see him. this whole day sucked. it was spent alone in the corner of somewhere listening to music crying here and there. i miss him so much. bleh i hate to go on and on about this. but i really need him right now.

i got alot of time to think today. i always wonder in i make him happy. i try do the best i can, but this distance is making it worse. but ill still do the best i possibly can...

i miss you so much... :'(

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 07:12:03 GMT

Full Name?: Brittani Nicole Rae Anolin (fo sho)
Birthday?: 06-15-89
Horoscope?: gemini
Sex?: female
Writing hand?: right
School/grade?: freshmen
Height?: 4'9 or 5'0
Eye color?: brown
Natural hair color?: blackish brownish
Current hair color?: black and red
Desired hair color?: white and black
Piercings?: like a million on my ears
Tattoos?: nope but i want one or two or 3
Languages?: i use to know a couple but now its just english. i forgot all of them
Online Journal?: yeah duh this one
Current status?: taken
Are you happy?: yes and no.
Turn ons?: mohawks. lip pericings. girls with skirts and fish nets (yum).
Current crush?: kyle
How far have you ever gone?: what? lol
Family: ummm i guess mom dad grandpa grandma uncle sister step dad
Mom?: cheryl
Dad?: chris
Brothers?: none
Sisters?: cabrina
Are your parents together?: nope
Step-family?: step dad
Pets?: 3 dogs 3 cats and a dumb fish that doesnt ever move
Religon?: atheist
Family's religion?: catholic and christian
Is your family close?: i dunno

Sex Facts
Sexual status?: secret haha
First Kiss?: 7th grade (first real kiss because im a loser)
Age you lost your virginity?: 13 lol

Firsts
Crush?: jeromey thompson. i wonder what happened to that kid. haha that was like 7 years ago
Love?: ricky gonzalez
Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: ricky gonzalez
Bestfriend?: no comment....

Favorites
Color?: red. neon green. and pink
Book?: i dunno
Song?: i dunno
Singer/Band?: i dunno
Actor/Actress?: who cares
TV Show?: south park. the simpsons. rockos modern life. farily odd parents
Movie?: cant remember
Magazine?: i dunno haha
Person to talk to?: kyle. ciera. or alex
Person to kiss?: who do you think haha (kyle)
Person to hug?: same
Quote?: "Wounds so deep they never show they never go away..like moving pictures inside my head for years and years they play..."
Place to go out?: places other then my house or with my parents or family.

This or that
Night/Day?: night
Spring/Summer?: summer
Fall/Winter?: winter
Silver/Gold?: who cares
Webjournal/Handwritten journal?: both
Guys/Girls?: both
Sleeping/Eating?: sleeping wait both haha

Opinion on
Abortion?: oh lord here we go again. i think abortion is wrong. yes i know its the must affectent birth control methoid. thats why you use a fuckin condom to prevent it from happening. and if it does break you have 3 days to take care of it. why kill an innocent life? give the baby to someone who actually wants one. abortion is fuckin stupid
Love at first site?: it could happen but i dunno
Rules?: dont get me started on this one haha
Gay Marriage: i think gay marriage is fine. theres nothing wrong with it. i know it says blah blah blah in the bible who cares. if you love the person and you want to be with him or her forever why no make it official

Friend
Loudest?: ricky
Craziest?: rios or ciera
Funniest?: mike haha good times
Cutest?: kyle
Most sensitive?: ciera?
Weirdest?: monica haha
Most creative?: monica
Best dresser?: me hahah oh yeah
Best dancer?: rios
Best singer?: kat
Best listener?: ciera
Most talkative?: my sister ugh

Currently
Wearing?: black jeans red converse white beater black sweat shirt
Eating/Drinking?: water
Talking to?: no one
Craving?: to be loved! fo sho!
Annoyance?: my mom and step dad
Listening to/Watching?: box car racer
Reading?: this damn question
Thinking about?: kyle
Where are you?: in my living room

that theres some out there who feels just like me....

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 04:19:32 GMT

this evening could last me a life time. but i wish it could of been longer....

i finally got to see you today. i was so happy.....
sitting in back of everyone listening to the teachers blab about something you know already, staring at the clock counting every second that goes by until i get to see you. getting very antsy waiting for the clock to hit 2:30.
yes in deed was it a long day. the time with you went by so fast, i wish it went by much slower. i really hope i get to see you tomorrow.
haha sitting there with mike as i rest my head on my arms waiting for you to come. getting very anxious. looking up every two minutes to see if you were there. i finally see you, i dig my face into my arm trying to hide my face acting like i didnt see you. as my heart beats faster and faster, my body still as a board waiting for you to approach me.

that was a good night i must admit. i was as stupid as hell but im glad i got to see you.
but, i dont like the ending. time moves to fast. before you know it the movies over and its time to go home. with a kiss goodnight and the smile on my face draws to a blank as i sit in the car with my head out the back window staring up at the sky. wondering when your going to come around again. i hope too see you soon.... i miss you already...

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 05:18:01 GMT

why is she doing this to me? havent i suffered enough. of course not. that stupid cunt. she loves to see me in pain. she loves to see me cry. but you know what, so be it. but nothing will keep me away from him. nothing. you can beat me down. you can make me cry. nothing will keep me away from him. and ill promise you that...